Tugging on the Heart

I’ve had another relationship epiphany. This one, surprisingly, is really, really simple. It’s something that is so plainly obvious, I’m sure you’ll be shaking your heads at me in despair in a few minutes here. But I bet you’re at least just a bit curious to know what I’m talking about, aren’t you? Thought so!

Guys, be prepared for an insight into a girl’s mind for a moment: We’re somewhat wired the way guys are. I have no idea if it’s just that, or emotions, or what, but yes, when a girl sees a guy who she considers attractive, she can’t help but like him. If only for a small amount of time, if necessary. Like my recent Facebook status, which was hilarious, wonderful, and disappointing all at once: “Just saw the most beautiful boy driving behind me, until he reached his hand out his car window... to flick his cigarette. Siiicck!” See? It’s almost like we can’t help it. I’m not remotely attracted to ANYONE who smokes. Gross. But, before I knew that, I just thought he was gorgeous. Just like I’m sure you guys have seen women on the street, or in a car, or at a random function, and before you can even help yourself or remind your brain that you don’t even know her name, for pities sake, you are instantly attracted to her. I blame it on being a human being. Hey, it could be worse.

So yes, on both gender sides we’ve each learned to control our emotions and impulses. However! Physical attraction can have some hidden downsides, even if it’s funny to poke fun at yourself in Facebook statuses. I’ve learned from past experiences that it’s very easy to like someone ‘from a distance’, without really even knowing too much about them. But then there’s the inevitable chance of actually getting to know the person, and you realize that not only are they physically attractive to you, but in other key areas as well. So then you really like them. But hold on a minute! It’s still just you! One sided relationships? Eh, I’ve heard they don’t work out so well.

This was my epiphany: As a girl, you may meet a certain guy, can’t help but like him, and even form a quick friendship, probably through shared activities or circumstances, but ladies, if THE GUY isn’t looking to get into a relationship or marriage, then it’s simply not going to happen. There. Simple, isn’t it? Yet, so aggravating! Seriously, if you like a guy and he’s enjoying being single or has his mind on other things going on in his life, it’s only going to be emotionally crushing to you when you sit around and wonder why he’s not grabbing his phone to feverishly dial your number and ask you out on a date before some other guy steals you away. I know, it’s amazing right? A guy enjoying being single? But it’s true! More and more guys in their 20’s are, simply put, having the time of their lives. Unless they’ve just come out of their parents house at the age of 19, bent on finding a wife and nothing else ASAP, the majority of young adult guys are actually living it up and liking it. And of course each guy is different, so I’m not generalizing, but it’s definitely a trend I’ve noticed. 

But so what, right? You just have to wait for THE GUY who does want to get married. One who is seeking a relationship (and not with reckless abandon-- red flag!), but is intentional about finding a girl who he can begin a relationship with that would be a lasting one, with the intent on someday marrying. Yes, there are guys like this out there. They may be rarer than we think or know of right now, but I promise you: Just wait. Wait on the Lord and His perfect timing, and leave the others to their X-boxes. They’ll either wake up someday with a strong desire to get married, having gotten all the single days out of their system, or they’ll just stay content living with their roommates, playing video games and thinking there could be nothing better.